Isn't She Vocal: The Back Story
By my late 20’s, I thought I had life figured out. I'd spent a long time dedicating myself to raising awareness on topics within the D&I space and reached a point in my adulthood where I rarly shied away from speaking out when I thought necessary. Then I fell pregnant and motherhood smacked me right in the face, thrusting me into a new sphere of womanhood completely unknown. Post partum was a rough ride. It was lonely, mentally and emotionally challenging, and my hormones tested me in ways I had never experienced before. I felt out of my depth. Not to mention I became familiar with areas of misogyny I'd only ever read about. When I would share my experience, I was met with a "ahh that's normal"- but if it's so normal, why is it not spoken about more? Why aren't we talking about this battle more? We have autonomy, we're not baby making machines. The period of time after giving birth actually became dehumanizing in some ways. And in the months where I fought for my life to piece myself back together after growing a human, coming to terms with this new identity of motherhood brought to the surface all the ways I'd been oppressed in my life.
Being a black woman living in the UK - I'm well versed with whole bundle of 'isms'. I have so much past trauma tied to experiences where I’ve been devalued, overlooked, bullied and silenced. At one point, I became tired of speaking out and silenced by those who benefit from systems of inequality.
Now you would think the pinnacle moment of this was when I became a mother and experienced the dreaded identity crisis, when the world truly showed me how little mothers and our scarifies are valued in society. But it actually happened a few months before this when I found myself in a vulnerable situation at work. To my peers, they observed this as nothing more than a personality clash. For me however, I was experiencing harassment from a senior member of staff. I was heavily pregnant, being harassed, while they projected their unconscious bias onto me, webbed interictally with micromanagement and microaggressions. Was they aware of the impact they were having? Did they truly mean to weaponize their privilege?
It broke me, killed my spirit and extremely dampened my confidence. If growing a child and partially giving up my carer wasn't enough to bring me to breaking point, the undertones of racism I experienced in the lead up to my due date definitely brought me close. This took some hard work and healing – but over time, my spark came back and I realised who the F I was. In that healing, I decided to give power back to my voice, made a decision to unleash my inner chaotic dialogue that tells a story of my lived experience and perspective. And in turn I aim to foster safe spaces, create visibility and advocate for inclusion and change. Oh and of course, help dismantle this silly little system of inequality.
The above example I gave isn’t isolated. My whole life I’ve dealt with people who attempt to put me down because of the melanin in my skin or because I have a vagina or simply because of the extra weight I carry across my stomach. Whether these things have been intentional or a consequence to their unconscious bias. Granted, this bias runs deep and is effective in its mission as it’s often stolen my ability to articulate the emotional and mental turmoil oppression puts me through.
But I’m now a mum, to a beautiful little girl. Through her I find my strength, my voice, the words needed to articulate, exemplify and be heard.
So, what does Isn't She Vocal offer?
Through writing & discussing, contributing my own perspective, & lived experiences, and utilising collaborations, ISN'T SHE VOCAL focuses on how our identities are shaped by society
This is a space designed to nurture the ways we are connected, provide respite for the challenges we face and harness in the opportunities to celebrate each other.
Here’s list of what’s on offer:
- Blog
- Services including public speaking and D&I Consultancy Training
- Collaboration opportunities
- Portfolio of work
- Handpicked network directory of services & communities
- Links to social media for educational content.
I’m sure you’ll learn more about how I navigate through the world in my blog series. So I’ll leave this here for now and I hope you enjoy exploring the website
It’s time to get voices heard, strengthen community engagement and unleash the female dialogue.
